The LaPortas: December 2013

Monday, December 30, 2013

Survival Mode

Before I had the twins, I remember thinking that by January we would have our feet underneath us. The twins would be two months old, sleeping better, eating a little less often, and we would have adjusted to this HUGE change. I wasn't too far off in my prediction. The boys are sleeping wonderfully. We have our schedule down. I am even making dinner a few nights a week and keeping the house relatively clean. But life is still really exhausting with a little bit of that feeling that there is no end in sight. The biggest surprise is that I thought our nights would be the most tiring and stressful, but that is not true. At least at night, it's quiet, you get up, feed a baby, and go back to bed. The days are non-stop. There is always something to do. I am prioritizing blogging right now over grocery shopping, taking down Christmas decorations, or cleaning my kitchen and bathroom. That's the biggest difference in life before the twins and after the twins. At least right now, I will NOT get everything done on my to-do list. Prioritizing has become the most important part of my day. What is most important to me right now? What is most important for my family right now? I also have found that I don't even set goals for the day…it's broken down much smaller than that. It's "what can I get done in between feeding the boys and pumping?" And then "what can I get done after the boys' next feeding?" All this being said, I have felt more purposeful and fulfilled than I have in a long time. Early in our marriage and even after Sienna was born, I struggled with my role and identity as a stay-at-home wife and mother. I felt bored and lazy. Needless to say, that is not an issue now! As busy as I have been and as much as I sometimes wish I could go back to the days when going to the grocery store was my biggest chore, I feel like I am thriving.
Matt has continued to be as helpful as ever, but while I struggled more in November, he has had a tough December. He hasn't signed with a team yet, he is in the process of renovating a condo for his mom, and mix in our new non-stop, no down time life, and he has been pretty overwhelmed. He is doing things around the house, helping with the kids, but Matt is wired differently than me. He is not going to receive the same fulfillment out of those daily duties that I will, as a woman. God created me to be in the home, but my sweet husband was not. He was made to be out in the world, doing deals, and making money. While I am so grateful he has been around and incredibly helpful, for him, this phase has been hard. Most nights as we are about to close our eyes we utter something along the lines of, "We did it. We survived one more day."

Highlights:

Matt and I celebrated our five year anniversary on December 7th and he surprised me with a weekend trip to Savannah without the children! It was incredible and exactly what we needed.
Christmas with Sienna was so much fun. I had no idea she would be so into it at only 27 months, but she loved it! It was so sweet watching all the old Christmas movies with her like Frosty the Snowman and The Grinch.
The boys are sleeping almost 12 hours (well at least for the past two nights)! I am extremely grateful for such good boys.

Sienna Spotlight:
She came up to me, wrapped her whole body around my legs and said, "I miss you!" She then went to Matt, hugged him and said, "I miss you SO MUCH too!" Sweetest moment.
One afternoon, Matt is feeding the babies, Sienna is sitting in her high chair, and I'm pumping. Out of nowhere, Sienna starts repeatedly yelling with such emphasis, "No tickets, no money! No money, no tickets!" Matt and I were bewildered having no idea where she got this from. Later that night we were watching Frosty the Snowman with her and sure enough there is a scene where these exact words were uttered. Why this particular line stood out to her…I couldn't tell you. Oh to know the mind of a two year old.
Another time she was sitting in her high chair while Matt was in the kitchen and she says to me, "Daddy…nice guy."

Price and Maddox Milestones:
First Smiles: 7 weeks and 6 weeks, respectively
Price slept from 8pm-7:30am at 8 weeks and few days later, Maddox did too!

Price

Maddox

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Three Blessings

Tomorrow marks 5 weeks since Price and Maddox were born. As predicted, it has gone by very quickly…though admittedly not too quickly. The first two weeks were surprisingly easy and smooth. Matt and I were getting along famously, the boys were on a synchronized schedule and eating and sleeping well. Then week 3 hit us. Honestly, not much changed in the boys' habits, but Matt and I just hit a wall. He was becoming very stir-crazy, ready to resume outside "normal" activities, I began having some trouble with my exclusively pumping plan while also craving some interaction with the outside world, and overall both of us feeling like life was never going to be normal again. It was hard. Matt and I couldn't have a conversation about anything without someone getting an attitude. I felt very trapped and had become a slave to my breast pump. I had two clogged ducts and mastitis all in the matter of a few days (none of which I had experienced with Sienna, so I was completely blindsided by the agony of it all). Matt felt helpless to do anything right. It was not a pretty week. And then it got better. I think a big part of it was just a perspective shift on my part. I realized that I had to give myself some freedom. If I missed a pumping session to go out on a date with my husband, then so be it. I couldn't keep going the way I was and feel sane. The last two weeks have been so much better. Don't get me wrong, I still wish getting out of the house to run an errand was easier. And I dream of the evening when I go to bed and know with absolute certainty I will be getting a full night's sleep. I knew these first few months were going to be hard, and they have been. But by the grace of God, Matt, Sienna, Price, Maddox, and I are doing much better than I expected we would be at this point. Like I said, only by the grace of God.

Sienna is just a gem. "Delightful" is the word that comes to me most often when I think about her. Two years old is by all means challenging, but it is also so much fun. She is talking more and more, putting words together, and she mimics everything. There are times when she is communicating and I can just see her little brain working trying to figure out what words to put together to say what she wants to say. She continues to be very independent often telling us to "go away" or "stay" (where we are), so she can go off and do whatever it is she needs to do BY HERSELF. She adores her baby brothers and often takes time from her busy schedule to give them kisses and hugs. We also started her in pre-school two days a week. There is a part of me that feels guilty for this. I never thought I would start her so early. But the truth is, it gives me and Matt a few days to get things done around the house and outside the house. And I also think she needs the change of scenery too. So far, she seems to enjoy it, but I also know she is excited to come home when we pick her up. Seeing Sienna "all grown up", it's crazy to think that in just a few months, my boys' personalities will also be developing and they also will become these precious little people that walk and talk! At least for me, when you are in this newborn phase, it's very hard to imagine. I love my boys, but as my dad says, "Sienna set the bar pretty high!" :)