Survival Mode

Before I had the twins, I remember thinking that by January we would have our feet underneath us.  The twins would be two months old, sleeping better, eating a little less often, and we would have adjusted to this HUGE change.  I wasn't too far off in my prediction.  The boys are sleeping wonderfully.  We have our schedule down.  I am even making dinner a few nights a week and keeping the house relatively clean.  But life is still really exhausting with a little bit of that feeling that there is no end in sight.  The biggest surprise is that I thought our nights would be the most tiring and stressful, but that is not true.  At least at night, it's quiet, you get up, feed a baby, and go back to bed.  The days are non-stop.  There is always something to do.  I am prioritizing blogging right now over grocery shopping, taking down Christmas decorations, or cleaning my kitchen and bathroom.  That's the biggest difference in life before the twins and after the twins.  At least right now, I will NOT get everything done on my to-do list.  Prioritizing has become the most important part of my day.  What is most important to me right now?  What is most important for my family right now?  I also have found that I don't even set goals for the day…it's broken down much smaller than that.  It's "what can I get done in between feeding the boys and pumping?"  And then "what can I get done after the boys' next feeding?"  All this being said, I have felt more purposeful and fulfilled than I have in a long time.  Early in our marriage and even after Sienna was born, I struggled with my role and identity as a stay-at-home wife and mother.  I felt bored and lazy.  Needless to say, that is not an issue now!  As busy as I have been and as much as I sometimes wish I could go back to the days when going to the grocery store was my biggest chore, I feel like I am thriving.  
Matt has continued to be as helpful as ever, but while I struggled more in November, he has had a tough December.  He hasn't signed with a team yet, he is in the process of renovating a condo for his mom, and mix in our new non-stop, no down time life, and he has been pretty overwhelmed.  He is doing things around the house, helping with the kids, but Matt is wired differently than me.  He is not going to receive the same fulfillment out of those daily duties that I will, as a woman.  God created me to be in the home, but my sweet husband was not.  He was made to be out in the world, doing deals, and making money.  While I am so grateful he has been around and incredibly helpful, for him, this phase has been hard.  Most nights as we are about to close our eyes we utter something along the lines of, "We did it.  We survived one more day." 

Highlights:

Matt and I celebrated our five year anniversary on December 7th and he surprised me with a weekend trip to Savannah without the children!  It was incredible and exactly what we needed.
Christmas with Sienna was so much fun.  I had no idea she would be so into it at only 27 months, but she loved it!  It was so sweet watching all the old Christmas movies with her like Frosty the Snowman and The Grinch.
The boys are sleeping almost 12 hours (well at least for the past two nights)!  I am extremely grateful for such good boys.

Sienna Spotlight:
She came up to me, wrapped her whole body around my legs and said, "I miss you!"  She then went to Matt, hugged him and said, "I miss you SO MUCH too!"  Sweetest moment.
One afternoon, Matt is feeding the babies, Sienna is sitting in her high chair, and I'm pumping.  Out of nowhere, Sienna starts repeatedly yelling with such emphasis, "No tickets, no money! No money, no tickets!"  Matt and I were bewildered having no idea where she got this from.  Later that night we were watching Frosty the Snowman with her and sure enough there is a scene where these exact words were uttered.  Why this particular line stood out to her…I couldn't tell you.  Oh to know the mind of a two year old.  
Another time she was sitting in her high chair while Matt was in the kitchen and she says to me, "Daddy…nice guy."

Price and Maddox Milestones: 
First Smiles: 7 weeks and 6 weeks, respectively
Price slept from 8pm-7:30am at 8 weeks and few days later, Maddox did too!

Price

Maddox

 

Three Blessings

Tomorrow marks 5 weeks since Price and Maddox were born.  As predicted, it has gone by very quickly…though admittedly not too quickly.  The first two weeks were surprisingly easy and smooth.  Matt and I were getting along famously, the boys were on a synchronized schedule and eating and sleeping well.  Then week 3 hit us.  Honestly, not much changed in the boys' habits, but Matt and I just hit a wall.  He was becoming very stir-crazy, ready to resume outside "normal" activities, I began having some trouble with my exclusively pumping plan while also craving some interaction with the outside world, and overall both of us feeling like life was never going to be normal again.  It was hard.  Matt and I couldn't have a conversation about anything without someone getting an attitude.  I felt very trapped and had become a slave to my breast pump.  I had two clogged ducts and mastitis all in the matter of a few days (none of which I had experienced with Sienna, so I was completely blindsided by the agony of it all).  Matt felt helpless to do anything right.  It was not a pretty week.  And then it got better.  I think a big part of it was just a perspective shift on my part.  I realized that I had to give myself some freedom.  If I missed a pumping session to go out on a date with my husband, then so be it.  I couldn't keep going the way I was and feel sane.  The last two weeks have been so much better.  Don't get me wrong, I still wish getting out of the house to run an errand was easier.  And I dream of the evening when I go to bed and know with absolute certainty I will be getting a full night's sleep.  I knew these first few months were going to be hard, and they have been.  But by the grace of God, Matt, Sienna, Price, Maddox, and I are doing much better than I expected we would be at this point.  Like I said, only by the grace of God.

Sienna is just a gem.  "Delightful" is the word that comes to me most often when I think about her.  Two years old is by all means challenging, but it is also so much fun.  She is talking more and more, putting words together, and she mimics everything.  There are times when she is communicating and I can just see her little brain working trying to figure out what words to put together to say what she wants to say.  She continues to be very independent often telling us to "go away" or "stay" (where we are), so she can go off and do whatever it is she needs to do BY HERSELF.  She adores her baby brothers and often takes time from her busy schedule to give them kisses and hugs.  We also started her in pre-school two days a week.  There is a part of me that feels guilty for this.  I never thought I would start her so early.  But the truth is, it gives me and Matt a few days to get things done around the house and outside the house.  And I also think she needs the change of scenery too.  So far, she seems to enjoy it, but I also know she is excited to come home when we pick her up.  Seeing Sienna "all grown up", it's crazy to think that in just a few months, my boys' personalities will also be developing and they also will become these precious little people that walk and talk!  At least for me, when you are in this newborn phase, it's very hard to imagine.  I love my boys, but as my dad says, "Sienna set the bar pretty high!"  :)

Price and Maddox

Price and Maddox

Price and Maddox

Sienna feeding Maddox!

Maddox

Sienna's first day of school!

Price and Maddox

Maddox and Price

Price and Maddox

Maddox and Price

October Babies

I knew I should have written my October blog before I had the babies because right now I can't seem to remember much that happened before I had Price and Maddox.  So let's see...
I remember Mattie surprising me with a BabyMoon at the DonCesar in St. Pete.  Besides being extremely thoughtful and sweet, it was pure bliss!  We laid by the pool and ate some fantastic meals and just did nothing.  Like I said, pure bliss.
I remember being SO READY to go in to labor!  I was actually having contractions a few weeks prior to when I got induced, so I thought for sure I would not make it to my induction date.  I did.  Grrr.
I remember really making an effort to treasure the last few moments and memories that Matt and I would have alone together with Sienna.  Every opportunity to go out on a date, Matt and I took!  Every sweet moment with Sienna, I tried to squeeze the most out of!  
I remember laughing more and more every day at Sienna's antics.  She started climbing out of her pack n play and when Matt and I asked her how she climbed out, she simply said, "Feet."  Matt and I loved that!  Whenever she drops something or spills something or something isn't working out the way she wants to, she says, "Aw man!" in the most adult-like tone.  She continues to bring us so much laughter and delights AND try our patience like no one could. : )

And then the boys joined us on October 28.  I was induced at Tampa General Hospital at 10:45am and delivered 6 pound 13 oz Price at 8:08 and 5 pound 7 ounce Maddox at 8:11.  I was pretty nervous about being induced because I had an all-natural birth with Sienna.  And I have to say I hated it.  I hated being hooked up to monitors and machines all day just waiting for something to happen.  I MUCH prefer doing all the waiting at my house and showing up at the hospital just in time for the main event!  Oh and I was STARVING all day!  I couldn't eat anything and I was miserable.  To top things off, I got the epidural (which was already tough for me to accept) too late, so when it came time to push, I still felt EVERYTHING.  I was not pleased!  

The story is, I progressed from 5cm-8cm in about a half hour.  I thought I would have more time to get the epidural.  I literally said to my mom, "I could probably bear through the last few contractions, but I would love the epidural so I don't feel the pushing."  I got the epidural, I immediately felt the sensation to start pushing, so they wheeled me in to the operating room.  I had to deliver in the operating room, so that if I needed an emergency c-section everything would be set up.  Delivering in an operating room could not have been more different than my delivery with Sienna.  There were 20 people in the room, outrageously bright lights, all the typical "scary" medical equipment, Matt and my mom were scrubbed up, I had to wear one of those goofy shower cap things...talk about ambiance!  Once there, I quickly began to push and much to my dismay (that's an understatement), I felt EVERYTHING!  They don't call it the ring of fire for nothing.  I played the very stereotypical role of a woman delivering a baby.  As I was pushing, I was yelling, "Why does this hurt?!  This isn't supposed to hurt!!!"  I think I made the anesthesiologist very uncomfortable.  Luckily for me and everyone around me, Price came out in around 8 minutes and 6-10 pushes.  But then the real fun began.  As Price came out, Maddox took advantage of all the extra space and immediately turned breach.  In ANY OTHER situation, with ANY OTHER doctor in Tampa, I would have had a c-section.  But I chose Dr. Zakhary for a reason, and THIS WAS IT!  Dr. Zakhary reached up inside, grabbed Maddox by his legs, and twisted him out of me like a corkscrew.  The good news is, I only had to give one little push to get his head out.  The bad news is, I still felt EVERYTHING.  

I cant't say enough how grateful I am for Dr. Zakhary and that I stuck with him.  I considered switching OBs several time because not only is his office thirty minutes away, but he is the only doctor in his practice which meant waiting hours at every appointment.  I am so relieved I decided to stay.  Recovering from a vaginal birth and a c-section would have been devastating.  

We came home on October 30th and have settled in better than I could have hoped. Matt has been an absolute super hero.  He absolutely shares fifty percent of the responsibilities and duties with the babies, Sienna, and around the house.  I could not do this without his outstanding effort and help.  We even felt good enough to go trick or treating with Sienna aka "Holly Golightly".  Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers throughout my pregnancy, labor and delivery.  Keep them coming as we embark on these next few years of utter madness and loads of fun!

Last Date Night!

38 Weeks: Morning of my delivery

Maddox 

Price

Holly Golightly

Family of Three

My husband is home and Sienna and I are happy girls!  I am grateful for so many things about Matt, but one of his best qualities is his will and drive to GET THINGS DONE.  For example: My number one priority for him was to clean out Sienna's closet (filled with our sports memorabilia), rent a storage unit, and transport it all there).  If it were me, this would have taken me a week, maybe two.  But Matt? ONE DAY!  How lucky am I?  On the other side of this, I can better understand why he gets so frustrated with me when I continue to procrastinate on other projects...oops.  That's why we are good together, right?  Hopefully?  : )  Outside of his incredible ability to get things done, he has been very intentional about spending time with Sienna and I, helping me around the house, and even being compassionate towards my very pregnant self.  Have I mentioned that compassion is not one of Matt's greatest strengths?  Haha But that is why his attentiveness and sweetness towards me has been all the more impressive.  

We celebrated Sienna's birthday on the 4th of this month and she loved it!  I didn't realize at two, she would be so excited about balloons and presents and cake!  Two highlights from her birthday celebrations were when we sang her "Happy Birthday" and when she opened her presents.  At our small family celebration on the night of her birthday, she opened every single present herself.  She would say "Whoa!" or "Wow!" after discovering every piece of clothing or book or toy she received.  Also, when she received an article of clothing, she wanted to take off what she was wearing and put her new piece of clothing on (with every single article of clothing)!  And at our larger celebration with about 20 family member and friends her face was priceless as we sang "Happy Birthday" to her.  She hovered over her cake, mouth open in a huge smile, and looked around the room at every pair of eyes.  That moment will forever be written in my memory.  
Sienna turning two has definitely brought some challenges.  Like clockwork, she entered the "terrible twos"!  For the first three weeks of this month, we had certain afternoons or mornings or whole days where she was inconsolable.  Matt and I could do or say nothing without her throwing herself on the floor or just whining incessantly.  We felt like we were handling it all the right ways, mostly in just not giving in to her and being consistent in our approach, but we were at a loss.  But lo and behold about a week ago, she just has been better!  Praise God!  She is playing by herself more easily, she only has moments of tantrums (as opposed to hours), and she is just more content.  What a relief!
The other MAJOR change that has come in the last few weeks is her sleeping habits.  Until a month ago, she was sleeping (or at least content in her room) for 13 hours at night and taking a three hour nap during the day.  In a matter of weeks, she now only sleeps 11 hours at night and about a one hour nap in the day!  Now I am trying not to complain because she has been a super sleeper from about three months until now, but it sure has been an adjustment!  I keep telling her that I am going to need at least one good sleeper in this house in the next few weeks, and it has to be her!  But alas, I think my 13 hour nights are over.  Sad day.
But boy is she fun!  She is our little parrot imitating every noise and every word that we say it seems.  She is still spunky as ever, loves playing with other children, and so compassionate.  There is a book that we read and on one of the pages the baby is crying.  Sienna can't get through that part without crying herself.  No joke.  She hates to see other people sad.  Oh and she LOVES church, which as a Christian parent, I am just not sure there is anything more rewarding than seeing you child enjoy church and talk about Jesus.  We are so very blessed.  

As for me, I am 34 weeks pregnant and I am definitely feeling it now.  My feet and hands started swelling a few days ago and I am just big and clumsy and slow.  Needless to say, I am ready!  At the latest, I will be induced at 38 weeks, but I am really hoping and praying I will go in to labor naturally.  I can't wait to meet these little boys and sometimes still can't believe I'm having two!  September has been such a beautiful month for our family, and I will always treasure it as our last month as a family of three!

Our Birthday Girl!

The boys' nursery almost complete!

My two best friends who threw me ANOTHER shower!

32 Weeks!