Can I say something crazy? I don't know how people stop having kids. I don't know how you can calmly and determinedly say to yourself, "This is the last time I will have a 10 month old baby." I certainly can not make that statement right now. I suppose I will come to a place where I will be ready to make such a decision, but I am not there.
10 months is glorious...10 months is the epitome of wonderful baby adorableness. They are still very much babies (squishy, like to be held, not too many teeth, make cute sounds, innocent, not deliberate in their attitudes), but they are not as dependent and delicate as newborns, or as sassy and irrational as toddlers (or is that just mine?) : )
I have a heightened sense of urgency to hold my boys. I want to feel their soft, warm, still small bodies in my arms. I want to squeeze them, look in to their bright eyes, and smile back at their slimy, (getting) toothy mouths. I want to bottle them up and keep them here forever. How will I remember? I feel like I have these very vague memories of Sienna at this age. I want to remember more with them. I want to remember how they sounded and how they felt and what they did and how they looked.
Honestly, I am grateful to feel this way because feeling this way tells me I am doing a half way decent job of not letting life pass me by. I need to cherish more moments, but I am doing my best to be intentional and be present, and take notice of the most beautiful tiniest details of my life.
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| My best friend, Rachel, came to Tampa with her 2 kids, Noa and Titus! We have quite a crew! |
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